Lessons in Baking

Lesson 1: Do not bake hungover.

As part of my attempt to be like Martha Stewart, I want to be the girl who always brings something fun to a party. That may be a fun dessert, a new appetizer, or an Italian bread loaf made from scratch for a pasta dinner. And maybe, just maybe, there will be a theme. Like this past weekend for the Super Bowl. After going out Saturday night, Sunday morning was little rougher than I wanted it to be. In addition to a massive headache, I woke up wanting to make some "blue" velvet cupcakes in honor of the Colts. Well, thanks to my lack of concentration from a few too many Bud Lights, I forgot two of the key ingredients. Not only did the cupcakes not rise, but they turned out a sea-foam green color. If the game was in South Beach, these might have been more acceptable. I ended up just throwing these out...the recipe was not the best either.

What did make the party (and I am sure Martha would approve) was when after the Colts first scored, Amanda Ross asks, "Who wants celebratory Jell-O shots?!" They were blue...and I loved every part of them!! She even made non-alcoholic ones for my preggers sister. All the while Amanda was taking care of her adorable son, John. So Martha, so jealous.

Indy Shore Party

Theme parties, love them. Costume parties, love those, too. I always have and I always will. Just about every outfit I do wear has a theme behind. It may be nautical with navy and white, I could wear a splash of color to put me in a good mood, at times I channel Jackie O, I have Banana Republic theme of neutral colors, and even a few sassy girl themes. I love theme parties.

Why? Perhaps because my inner diva can come out and it is socially acceptable. I see it is as my chance to be one stage and perform.

The other night my friend had one, an Indy Shore party. It was trashy, sluty, skanky and I loved every minute of it. People were orange from spray tan, my arm hurts from fist pumping all night, and my towel might be ruined from washing off all the eye makeup and bronzer.

I found my outfit at Wal-Mart. It is from the new Miley Cyrus and Max Azria line and it was perfect: faux pleather skin tight leggings with zippers, and a tank top that zipped up the back. And it was all on super sale with every size out.

Karaoke...Living the Dream!

The other night my friends and I went to a karaoke bar. We had been talking about it for a while, so I was very excited and, yes, very prepared.

Lets go back a little bit. When my sister got engaged all I wanted was to sing "Proud Mary" at the reception. She said no. He said no. For the past couple of years I have been Tina Turner for Halloween and even got the compliment from a friend that "Annie is the best Tina." Thank you Mikey. So the natural choice for my karaoke song was "Proud Mary!"

It was great! I had people singing along and cheering, and even a few people stood up at the end for a standing ovation. Perhaps it was the Tina shimmy and shake that I have nailed down, or my fun stage presence, I don't know...

All I do know is talent scouts---I am waiting!!

Wrong answer...?

Hi! I am back…after an 8 month hiatus. And it was not because nothing happened, I have been lazy.

In the past couple of days, I have twice “failed” a test that normal people pass, including my friend, her co-workers, sister, brother, brother-in-law, dad, uncle, and cousin. The first time was when my friend Amanda forwarded me the email, and the second was at dinner when my brother-in-law told a story.

The story is along this line: At your mother’s funeral you meet a man and fall deeply in love, believing him to be your soul mate. He leaves before you can get his name, phone number, any contact information—nothing. The next week you kill your sister, why?

Normal people say things like: “you were so heartbroken you killed her out of rage,” or “she started dating the man you met.” In a scientific study, it was proven that psychopaths answer along this line: “you thought he might attend your sister’s funeral, you wanted to see him again, so you killed your sister.”

When I first read the email, I immediately answered that I killed my sister so he would come to her funeral. I came up with no other answer. I am a psychopath! When I told my friend who emailed, she laughed saying only one other person she knows answered it as a psychopath would. When my brother-in-law told the story, the rest of the people at the table did not even get close to the psychopathic answer. I was getting really stressed out because they were no where near close! I am a psychopath and highly strung.

However, my brother-in-law’s mother gave the psychopathic answer and she is the opposite of a psychopath! My mom and grandma have not taken the test as far as I know. Anyways, aren’t psychopaths also geniuses?

Prom Queen

Both my sister and brother won a state championship in high school, my sister in tennis and my brother in hockey.  I did not.   And they like to bring that up every so often.  Especially now that I am coaching tennis.  But I was Prom Queen!! And neither of them were even on the Prom Court!  Ha!  

So it was my sororities 80's Prom Informal, and part of the reason I won was because Caitlin was caught stuffing the ballots in her favor.  But, I was still Prom Queen, and as you can see by the picture I deserved it!  (And you can see I was still in my awkward phase that all began with the bangs/mullet.)

The "chaperone" is cousin Jannie.  She actually was the chaperone of the dance, so she just dressed the part and really looked like a chaperone.  Sorry Jannie, but consider this payback for Teddy Dog Show...

Thoughts...?

To begin, I teach at a Catholic high school.  The students have to wear uniforms everyday except for Fridays and other special days.  Overall, the school is great, but very conservative.  A mom called me an atheist and an Obama supporter in one accusation!!

Tonight, at our usual Tuesday night dinner, I started talking about an incident at school involving dress code, a detention, and making a student change his shirt.  Immediately everyone jumps on me for being a mean teacher!  Now maybe they were siding with my grandmother, who thinks and tells everyone that I am the meanest teacher in the world, to earn brownie points.  But here is the situation and then I would like to hear your thoughts--am I a mean teacher or did the family jump on the black sheep once again?!?

This student likes to push the limits.  He is nice, but a does not like to follow any rules.  Previous examples, when he was on Academic Probation he had to meet with all of his teachers once a week to catch up.  He never showed up once, and every teacher arranged his/her schedule to accommodate for him.  He asked me if he could have my cell phone number and we can meet at a Starbucks one Saturday to study.  And his school polo was never tucked in (dress code violation) and had multiple warnings and detentions for that as well.

 Today was one of the days when the kids were allowed to wear jeans and a green top if they donated money to a charity.  This student comes to school in jeans and a Pabst Blue Ribbon St. Patty's Day shirt. (For those who do not know, PBR is a cheap, nasty beer.) For violating school policy,  I wrote him a detention slip and asked the Dean of Students to make him cover up his shirt somehow.  Now, was I a mean teacher by punishing a student who wore a beer t-shirt to a Catholic high school?!?!

Thoughts...?

Fourth time is the charm!

Yea!  For a few weeks I have been on a kick of trying to make a really good soft pretzel, but have failed on all but one attempts.  The first time, I put wax paper in the oven and almost burnt the house down... oops.   The next two times were not good, too bland.   But today, I found a new recipe, thank you Alton Brown!  

I know the picture does not show how good these are, but trust me, they are goooooood!  And, they are almost gone...

Now, I need to work on making dips for them!